Donald Trump has all the time been deeply invested within the picture he initiatives to the world, and that extends to how he presents his family.
Over time, his youngsters have been featured prominently in his enterprise dealings, media appearances and political campaigns, usually positioned as reflections of his success, values and legacy. He continuously praises them in public: typically in glowing and even transactional phrases, whereas additionally drawing consideration to their loyalty and proximity to energy.
However behind the general public compliments and picture ops, some psychologists see patterns that transcend delight. When taking a look at his public parenting, experts level to fairly a number of similarities to a method of habits generally known as “narcissistic parenting,” through which a mother or father views their youngster much less as an impartial individual and extra as an extension of themselves. This usually means valuing efficiency over emotional connection, picture over authenticity, and management over autonomy.
From conditional approval to public possession of his youngsters’s accomplishments, listed below are five signs of narcissistic parenting that Trump has persistently displayed, and what they reveal concerning the complicated dynamic between energy, ego and parenthood.
Seeing Kids As Reflections Of Themselves
Trump usually speaks about his youngsters by way of how they symbolize him, highlighting their bodily look, loyalty or enterprise success as proof of his personal greatness. In interviews, he’s praised his older daughter Ivanka for inheriting his appears to be like and enterprise acumen, describing her as “a great piece of ass” in a now-infamous Howard Stern interview.
“It’s one factor to view your youngsters’s accomplishments as one thing you helped them obtain, but it surely’s one other factor to suppose you might be solely chargeable for their success and take all of the credit score,” says Karen Marker, MA, LIMHP, proprietor and therapist at Serenity Remedy and Wellness. “It’s considerably grow to be a trademark of Donald Trump’s and its traditional narcissistic parenting.”
Nevertheless, research shows that when dad and mom view youngsters as extensions of themselves, valuing them mainly for bolstering parental self‑esteem, children internalize these instrumental roles and normalize boundary crossing. This will result in them growing a “false self” aligned with their mother or father’s wants or expectations reasonably than their very own wants.
Prioritizing Loyalty Over Emotional Connection
In narcissistic household programs, loyalty is paramount and infrequently rewarded, whereas independence or criticism is seen as betrayal. Trump has publicly celebrated the kids who defend him most vocally, like Donald Jr., whereas being much less vocal about others, resembling Tiffany, who has remained largely out of the highlight for a lot of his presidency.
Ivanka, specifically, has lengthy been positioned as each a trusted advisor and a popular youngster. She is commonly launched as somebody he “trusts” and “respects.” Donald Jr. has acted as a vocal surrogate throughout Trump’s political campaigns, utilizing social media and public appearances to amplify his father’s messages. Eric has equally maintained loyalty to the household enterprises, usually defending the Trump model and household legacy. In return, Trump hardly ever misses a chance to publicly reward them, usually emphasizing their usefulness, work ethic, or potential to mirror properly on him, reasonably than their individuality or emotional connection.
“Loyalty serves their wants for management, validation and safety, whereas genuine connection requires vulnerability and mutual respect—issues narcissists usually keep away from or are afraid of,” says Sarah Darrow, EdS, a licensed psychologist centered on adolescence. “And after we see these traits in dad and mom we are likely to see their youngsters battle as adults in navigating their relationship, usually being fully loyal or very distant from their narcissistic mother or father or dad and mom.”
One other trait is the conditional nature of Trump’s relationship together with his youngsters. This was on clear show when Ivanka distanced herself barely through the Jan. 6 hearings, stating she accepted the Justice Division’s conclusion that no widespread fraud occurred within the 2020 election. Trump swiftly dismissed her testimony, saying she was “not concerned” and appeared “checked out.”
This sample displays a core dynamic of narcissistic parenting. “Kids are valued most once they reinforce the mother or father’s picture or agenda,” she says Marker. “Emotional closeness is secondary to allegiance.”
Public Reward, However Largely When It Advantages Them
Trump is fast to reward his youngsters, however usually in ways in which mirror again on his personal success, legacy or model, reasonably than their distinctive identities or accomplishments.
In interviews, speeches and social media posts, his compliments are usually transactional, highlighting how his youngsters mirror his values, contribute to his enterprises, or bolster his public picture. It’s much less about celebrating them as people and extra about how their actions affirm his standing as a profitable father, businessman or chief.
“Narcissistic dad and mom usually dangle public reward like a trophy, to serve their very own wants reasonably than genuinely have a good time their youngster,” says Darrow. “That is usually accomplished for them to indicate the world their ‘good’ parenting fashion and to strengthen behaviors that serve them.”
As an illustration, he continuously lauds Ivanka for being “sensible” and “stunning,” whereas emphasizing how a lot folks admire her — a type of reward that facilities not on her internal life or relationships, however on her function as a formidable public determine who displays properly on him. Donald Jr. and Eric are sometimes praised for his or her loyalty and aggressiveness in defending the household model, notably throughout political controversies. The subtext is obvious: Their worth is tied to how properly they carry out publicly on his behalf.
This sort of reward, whereas flattering on the floor, is a traditional characteristic of narcissistic parenting. It teaches youngsters that their price is conditional, not on who they’re, however on how properly they serve or improve the mother or father’s picture. Because of this, youngsters could be taught to suppress vulnerability or impartial expression in favor of staying within the mother or father’s good graces. In Trump’s case, his public parenting moments usually recommend that admiration is earned via usefulness and optics, not emotional connection or unconditional help.
Involving Kids In Grownup Roles Too Early
Trump has routinely positioned his youngsters in high-stakes grownup arenas, from enterprise boardrooms to White Home technique conferences. And let’s not overlook Ivanka’s husband, Jared Kushner, getting a senior adviser role, a task many critics on the time mentioned he was not certified for.
Whereas many households contain their youngsters in household enterprise, consultants say narcissistic dad and mom usually skip essential boundaries, utilizing their youngsters to fulfill their very own wants for admiration or standing.
“It’s additionally a approach to management them,” says Marker. “Once you put your youngsters in management roles, particularly high-stakes roles, you’ll be able to management them, as a result of you’ll be able to remind them that you simply put them there.”
Evaluating And Even Favoring Sure Kids
Favoritism is a trademark of narcissistic parenting, usually used to take care of management, enhance the mother or father’s ego, or pit siblings against one another. In Donald Trump’s case, this dynamic has been notably seen via his long-standing and infrequently public desire for Ivanka. He has referred to her on a number of events as his “favourite,” even joking throughout an look on ”The View” that if she weren’t his daughter, “perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Notably, press secretary Karoline Leavitt side-stepped the query from a toddler throughout a “Take Your Baby To Work Day” on the White Home: “That could be a very controversial query, and I’m not going to reply it. He loves all of his youngsters very a lot, they usually’re all nice youngsters.”
In contrast, Tiffany has usually appeared on the periphery of the Trump household orbit. She was hardly ever seen at marketing campaign occasions, acquired little public reward, and has at occasions appeared excluded from the internal circle. In his 2016 RNC speech, Trump talked about every of his grownup youngsters — besides Tiffany.
Barron, his youngest, is talked about even much less. Whereas that could possibly be partly attributed to Melania’s efforts to maintain him out of the highlight and his being solely freshly an grownup, Trump’s public feedback about him are minimal past his obvious “technological aptitude” of turning on a pc that Trump turned off.
Even Eric and Donald Jr., who’ve been fiercely loyal and concerned in each the Trump Group and political campaigns, are usually praised in additional utilitarian phrases, highlighted for his or her aggressiveness or loyalty reasonably than private heat or uniqueness.
“This may be deliberate,” says Marker. “Quite a lot of occasions dad and mom who wish to make one youngster really feel extra particular will exit of their approach to reward them in entrance of different youngsters or vice versa — exit of their approach to not reward a toddler, even when they deserve it. It’s merciless.”